This article which appeared on iAfrica today, written by: The Point, was too good not to post!!
Fri, 05 Nov 2010 12:04
And then there are his friends. Can we really blame young Juju for the fact that Floyd never figured out how to use that book with all the wordy things in it (in Pedi or any other language)? I, for one, think
that the word "cretation" enriches the English language. I have already used it today. Twice.
When faced with insolent technology: "Argh! This cretation is a piece of (expletive deleted)!"
Somewhere in between filling out countless irrelevant forms at MTN and being 'escorted' out of the building: "Cretations! All of you! You hear me? C-R-E-T-A-T-I-O-N-S!"
Floyd the Maverick.
And yet, despite the enviable company he keeps, I still feel a little sorry for the Munchkin, which is why I plan to balance this week's snide comments with soothing lullabies. I may have tried to sneak in a syllable or three. Here's one to get us started:
Rock-a-bye Juju, on the internet,
When the tweets flow, the cradle gets wet,
When the taunts start, the cradle will fall,
And down will come Juju, Shivambu and all.
It would seem that the ANC's kiddies club has also been baffled by technology this week. Floyd, clearly not quite understanding how the interwebs work (or, for that matter, what a hacker is), has lashed out at all the online Juju-haters.
"There are computer hackers who have created twitter accounts in the name of the President [the prince-ling not HRH Msholozi] and recurrently posting misleading messages [sic]."
Hmm… perhaps he meant hacks. You know, those online bottom-feeders like… erm… me. Or – and let's face it, this is the more likely scenario – perhaps Floyd is to computers what Malema is to a block of wood. Proving that they are also clueless about the size of the world and the relative sway that they hold, the pipsqueaks threatened to bring about the fall of the Twitter Empire. Think David and Goliath. Except David was clever.
"The ANCYL has in [sic] more than one occasion reported these impersonators and hackers, yet no action has been taken against them by the Twitter administrators. [What? Bloody agents!] We will now approach the relevant authorities to report these hackers and call for the closer [Closure, perhaps? Or do you really want Twitter closer?] of Twitter, if its administrators are not able to administer reports for violation of basic human rights and integrity."
Ah yes, because it worked so well when you tried to shut down Nando's. And Nedbank. And the Zillenator.
The itsy-bitsy Juju,
Got too much political clout,
Down came Motlanthe,
And washed Juju's mouth out,
Out came the youth league,
And dished out all the blame,
And the itsy-bitsy Juju,
Ate up all the fame.
Few things please The Point more than an insult gone awry. Particularly when that insult originates deep down in the well-padded gut of the country's Chief Bully.
"You have put the cockroach in Cabinet. People of the Western Cape, we are asking you to bring Doom to remove this cockroach… And Doom means voting for the ANC."
Or, to word that slightly differently, voting for the ANC means Doom.
Kgalema Motlanthe – driven, perhaps, by embarrassment at the youth leader's apparent inability to extend a metaphor – chastised the prince-ling in Parliament.
"We must put our points across without trying to demean each other. And I think the fact that the gentleman you alluded to [that would be Juju] referred to a good lady, like she's a cockroach, I think it's a bad thing myself. I think it's downright simple bad manners."
Simple. Bad manners. Julius? Never!
Twinkle, twinkle little comrade,
How I wonder how you got it made,
Up above the poor so high,
Like a diamond with a finger in the pie,
Twinkle, twinkle little comrade,
How I wonder how you got it made.
Of course, a little tongue-lashing never did deter the kiddies club. Their retort on discovering that angry threats were followed by even more online mocking was… well… predictable.
"We'll trace them… that is very possible to do," said the guy who couldn't seem to understand that an email address is all it takes to set up a Twitter account. "We don't want to expose our strategy on how we will get them [largely because we haven't figured it out yet]. But we will get them and we are going to report them to the police."
Ah, yes, because that worked so well with PigSpotter.
Followed by the obligatory racism: "We are sure, when they get exposed, you will see it is white people. Reactionary, rightwing, white people."
Floyd sees white people. It's a sixth sense. It goes without saying that they are all rightwing racists. Unfortunately it prevents him from seeing all those intelligent black folk who also like to use computers and laugh at antics of bumbling idiots.
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